


i'll break down the walls cause to you i'm drawn (do you hear me? i'm gonna fall for you)

by mushroombiome



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Getting Together, M/M, Pining, Slow Burn, seung-gil's pov, seungchuchuweek
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-23
Updated: 2017-05-23
Packaged: 2018-11-03 23:12:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10977372
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mushroombiome/pseuds/mushroombiome
Summary: Having a crush on Phichit Chulanont felt like learning how to skate. Eventually, you had to fall.(The thing is, Seung-gil hates falling.)





	i'll break down the walls cause to you i'm drawn (do you hear me? i'm gonna fall for you)

**Author's Note:**

> SAKGDKASFDJS I'M FINALLY DONE WITH THIS!! i hope you enjoy this! i'm so glad i was able to finish this fic during seungchuchu week! it was unintentional but consider it my contribution :D
> 
> i apologize for any mistakes or awkward wording.
> 
> title is from "falling" by snakehips

When Seung-Gil was seven years old, his older sister took him to an ice skating rink in Seoul near their house. He remembers how he finally learned how to tie shoes for the first time, sitting in the lobby of the rink, wearing the worn out rental shoes as he perfects the shoelaces into a tight bow while his sister watches with pride.

He remembers the first time he stepped onto the ice; how he didn’t realize how…  _ slippery _ the ice is, even when he’s holding onto Soo-jin’s hand for dear life. It’s terrifying, the way he has no control, how the ice is just there, taunting him, waiting for him to mess up. Even when she teaches him the basics of how to skate, he still manages to fall right on his butt into the cold ice.

“Nunaaaaa,” Seung-gil whines. “This is so hard.”

“It’s because you’re still learning,” she replies, laughing as she helps him up and he continues trying to keep his balance.

“I don’t wanna fall, though!”

“Sometimes you have to fall to learn.”

After Soo-jin says that, someone from the opposite side of the rink charges to the center of the rink and executes the cleanest and most graceful jump that Seung-gil has ever seen in his life.

“Wow!” he exclaims as everyone around him applauds the woman, now gliding back to the edge of the rink.

“See?” Soo-jin says. “I bet she fell a lot before he learned how to do that jump.”

“I want to do that! I wanna jump like that!”

“Well, it looks like you have to learn.”

“Do you think she can teach me?”

“She could, but she’s not a teacher, Seung-gil. We can probably sign you up for lessons, if you want.”

Seung-gil looks up at his sister with wide yes. “Really?!”

“Really. We can ask  _ eomma  _ and  _ appa _ later!”

Seung-gil remembers the first time he got his feet fitted for skates and the first time he got lessons, the way his teacher helps him become steady on the ice so he won’t wobble around. There’s something about the ice and the lack of friction every time he skates. It makes him feel free and invincible.

For the first time in his life, he feels like he is the closest to flying.

* * *

Seung-gil is eleven years old and he hates falling.

It is the most frustrating thing about learning how to skate. He hates how hard the ice is and how the cold is so biting; if you fall, you have to get back up before the warmth leaves your body. He hates how the impact of the body against the ice is such a telling sign that  _ you’re failing _ and  _ you’re not good enough. _

“That was good, Seung-gil,” the coach that is teaching him to skate says. “You’re improving on your jumps.”

“Are you sure about that?” he replies, brushing the ice off his back. “The amount of times I’ve fallen seem to say otherwise.”

Coach Min sighs. 

“Seung-gil,” she says. “Falling is inevitable in figure skating. Falling is representative of progress and learning. You have to get used to the cold. Let’s continue practicing your jumps.”

Seung-gil balls his hands into fists and exhales sharply before preparing for his next jump.

* * *

Seung-gil realizes he likes boys when he’s thirteen and he’s well into his figure skating career. He’s in China competing in the Junior Grand Prix series and he’s determined to get to the finals.

“Hi!” someone says to Seung-gil. He turns around to see fourteen-year-old Cao Bin skate towards him during practice. 

“Hi?” he replies.

“You’re Seung right?”

“Seung-gil…”

“Oh, sorry about that! I’m Cao Bin.”

“I know.”

Seung-gil continues to skate, not giving too much mind to the other skater, but he continues to follow him.

“Your skating is really nice,” he says. “I’ve seen so many videos of yours on Youtube.”

“Thank you,” Seung-gil replies. “Yours too.”

Cao flashes a huge smile that makes his stomach feel a funny way. Suddenly, Seung-gil notices the way that his dark hair sticks up in all directions, how his face and ears are flush red because of the cold. 

“Do you wanna hang out with me?” Cao suddenly says. “I live here in Beijing and I would love to take you to my favorite restaurants.

“It looks like you’re asking me out on a date,” Seung-gil says absentmindedly, ready to jump a toe loop.

“I am!”

Seung-gil is taken aback by that reply, so much so that he slips and falls on his butt. It’s the first ever time he’s ever fallen doing a loop since first learning it as a kid.

“I’m sorry!” Cao says, grabbing his hands to help him up. “I didn’t mean to distract you from your jump. I should have waited.”

Seung-gil stands up and doesn’t say anything due to the shock of falling on the ice  _ again. _ The ice sticks to his clothes and leaves a cold bite to his skin that he hasn’t felt in a while. After gaining composure, he then says, “Well, I guess you have to make it up to me. With food.”

The smile that Cao flashes could light up an entire room.

He takes Seung-gil to his favorite hot pot restaurant and dessert afterwards. They talk about figure skating and their backstories, analyzing the other competitors and talking about their lives back in their hometowns. It’s a nice date and one of the nicest moments that Seung-gil has experienced outside of figure skating in a while. There’s something about Cao presence that makes him feel comfortable and not ridden with anxiety as he usually is the night before a competition.

When they’re walking down Beihai Park next to the water drinking boba when Cao takes Seung-gil’s hand and laces his fingers with his.

“Is this okay?” he asks.

Seung-gil nods, his cheeks suddenly becoming warm. This is new. He’s never done anything… romantic with anyone anymore. He can see the city lights behind Cao, basking his profile in a soft light. He decides to take a chance and leans forward and pulls him in for a soft kiss, the first one Seung-gil has ever had in his entire life. Cao kisses back, releasing his hold on Seung-gil’s hand to cup his cheek.

It’s a nice first kiss, save for the milk tea boba breath. He loves how soft Cao’s lips feel as it moves against his. It makes him feel warm even during the cool night.

When the kiss ends, Cao leans his forehead against his.

“Thank you for tonight,” Seung-gil says. “The food was really good.”

“Your welcome. You should show me around Korea sometime.”

Seung-gil smiles. “Yeah. I’d like that.”

They head back to the hotel, hand in hand. When Seung-gil leaves the elevator to his room, Cao leans in for another kiss.

“Good luck for tomorrow,” he says.

“You too,” Seung-gil replies, still dazed.

For the first time in a while, he falls asleep with a smile on his face.

* * *

Unfortunately, it ends there. They do end up exchanging LINE information and send congratulatory messages but it doesn’t go past small talk. Days turn into weeks, which turn into months and suddenly Cao Bin is already qualified to move onto the senior Grand Prix series.

There are nights were Seung-gil stares at his phone, open and ready to send a message to Cao, to ask him to meet up sometime, maybe catch up before that eventful night. He wants to feel that warmth, that intimacy that felt so comforting like the ice. But the possibility slips away from his grasp as time goes by. He visits Instagram one night and sees that, from the countless of selfies on his profile, that Cao has found himself a boyfriend who he is happily with.

Seung-gil swallows the huge lump in his throat and pretends that he’s not more hurt than he feels.

He deletes Cao’s contact information on LINE with a shaky hand. It’s for the better.

* * *

He first meets Phichit Chulanont in his last year of competing in the Junior Grand Prix. He’s heard a lot about Phichit: the first Thai skater and essentially the first Southeast Asian Skater to reach the Junior Grand Prix finals. His performances and step sequences have captured the hearts of many and all the competitors are turning their heads to this up and coming figure skater.

Seung-gil, he admits, is a little jealous of how much Phichit has accomplished. They may have had the same amount of training, but Phichit has paved the way for figure skating in Southeast Asia where its warm, tropical climates make winter sports not that popular. This sixteen-year-old is already making history. But he also can’t find himself to hate Phichit. Seung-gil himself has spent a lot of time watching videos of Phichit on Youtube, amazed by his quick and graceful movement on the ice that is unique to this Thai skater.

He’s in the hotel lobby, a day before the Junior Grand Prix finals. He spent the entire day practicing with his coach and was ready to get an early head start to bed so he can be well rested for tomorrow. 

However, those plans all change when someone accidentally runs into him.

Seung-gil may not have been paying attention to where he was walking, but it was nothing compared to the other person: completely immersed in his cell phone to the point where he doesn’t notice another person—i.e., Seung-gil—coming straight towards him.

“Oh no! I’m so sorry.”

Seung-gil turns his head and finds that the one and only Phichit Chulanont was the one who ran into him. He hides his surprise and his wonder in favor of keeping his deadpan and cold and intimidating reputation that he’s presented to his competitors and the public eye.

“It’s not good to text and be distracted while you’re walking,” Seung-gil mutters, trying to lace some semblance of venom in his voice.

“Yeah,” Phichit says with a sheepish look on his face. “Sorry about that. My coach keeps warning me against using my phone while doing things but I can’t help it!

“You should listen to them then.”

The sharpness in his voice does not affect Phichit at all.

“You’re Seung-gil right?” he asks. “From South Korea?”

“Yes.”

“Oh, awesome! I’ve seen so much of your skates. They’re really good.”

Seung-gil blinks. He’s always taken aback whenever someone, especially a competitor, compliments him on his skating. In all his time competing in figure skating, the fame and public eye and the attention is something he’s still not used to.

“Thank you,” he says. “I appreciate it.”

“Honestly? You’re one of my favorite competitors.” Phichit leans down and winks. “But don’t tell the other skaters.”

He blinks. “Uh, thank you.”

Phichit looks down at his phone and back up at Seung-gil and his coach. “Do you actually want to go get food with me? I’m about to go a bakery right now. But only if you want.”

Seung-gil blinks. He suddenly gets a flashback of his first crush Cao asking him out to dinner, followed by the bitterness felt after they never met up again. He admits that Phichit is quite an attractive person. He kinda doesn’t wanna go through the whole Cao ordeal again with Phichit, considering that for a moment, it distracted him from his skating and made jumps a little harder to accomplish during competition.

“I—” Seung-gil was about to politely decline his offer until he feels his coach elbow him in the side. He turns around and glares at her.

_ “Go hang out with him,” _ she says in Korean.  _ “You’ve been practicing all day and you deserve to relax before the competition.” _

He knows that this isn’t something he can get out of. Min-so Park may be a tough coach, but she’s always encouraging him to go out and have fun because he’s so committed to figure skating. Plus, she has the hotel room keys to hold while he practiced and he knows she won’t give it to him until he hangs out with this Southeast Asian skater. He really has no choice.

_ “Fine,”  _ he mumbles. He turns to Phichit and says in English, “Sure. I’ll go with you.”

The following smile that Phichit gives could almost light up an entire room. Seung-gil is somewhat taken aback.

“Awesome!” he exclaims. He stands next to Seung-gil and shows him his phone. “My Japanese friend Yuuri suggested I go to this pastry shop. It looks so good and so cute and it’s pretty close to here!”

“Sure.”

“Let’s go! They sell Japanese cheesecake which I’ve been dying to try for ages!”

They head outside in the cold night. Snow is falling and the lights from distant buildings twinkle in the night. Even late at night there are lots of people walking around and it gives Seung-gil comfort like back in Seoul.

“Is this your first time in Japan?” Phichit asks.

“No,” Seung-gil replies. “I’ve been here plenty of times because of competitions. I’ve never had the chance to explore the country, though.”

“Ah, I see. This is my first time. I wasn’t able to go to Japan during my first two years of competition.”

It’s silent again, with Phichit texting on his phone and Seung-gil staring down at his feet in awkwardness, his hands buried in his pockets.

“Wanna take a selfie?” he asks. “For Instagram and Snapchat?”

So the rumors are true, Seung-gil muses. Phichit is truly the figure skating king of social media. He’s surprised that he’s not the type of person who would vlog for Youtube.

“I would prefer not to,” Seung-gil says nervously, thinking about the public eye and the last time he Googled himself. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay!”

Phichit then takes a Snapchat video, his hands going up to a peace sign while he spins around in a circle to record the scenery behind him. Seung-gil finds that slightly endearing.

The pastry shop is cute and small and the smell of freshly baked goods. It reminds Seung-gil of a bakery next to his childhood home back in Seoul that he and Soo-jin would go to every day after she would pick him up from figure skating practice. It fills him with a sense of nostalgia and for a moment, he misses being back home with his dog and his family.

They order a bunch of pastries, from Japanese cheesecake to takoyaki and various mochi desserts. Seung-gil is sorta glad he joined Phichit; he definitely wanted to eat more dinner and he has a soft spot for desserts.

They decide to sit on a bench on Makomanai Park near the ice rink. They sit on each end and lay out the food in front of them to eat, picnic style.

“This looks so good!” Phichit says, taking more pictures on his phone. Seung-gil waits patiently before diving in. “What’s your Instagram so I can tag you in the picture?”

“Uh…” Seung-gil takes Phichit’s phone and types in his Instagram username.

His phone immediately lights up with a notification.

_ [seung-gillee] @phichit+chu tagged you in a post. _

“Oh my gosh!” Phichit exclaims, pointing at his phone at his lit lockscreen. “Your dog is so cute!”

Seung-gil smiles. There aren’t many things that make him happy, but dog back at home is one of the most important things in his life.

“Thank you,” Seung-gil says. “Her name is Mongshil. It means ‘fluffy’ in Korean. I love her very much. She’s a Siberian Husky.”

“She’s so cute! And truly really fluffy! I have three hamsters back home.” Phichit shows an Instagram post of the him with three hamsters: two on his shoulder and one on top of his head buried in his hair. Seung-gil can’t help but smile at the photo. “That’s Pui, Noy Na, and Praew. I miss them so much!”

“Yeah. I miss Mongshil too. It’s been a few months since I’ve last seen her. She’s one of my best friends.”

Seung-gil winces at how weird that might sound. Regardless, Phichit reacts to that statement well.

“That’s so cute!” he exclaims. “I love dogs. They’re so cuddly. I mean, I love my hamsters but they’re too small to cuddle in bed. And I wouldn’t wanna crush them in my sleep, either.

Seung-gil smiles as they both take a bite of mochi ice cream.

“Oh man,” Phichit says. “This is so good! I wish we bought more!”

“Yeah.”

“I’m glad you joined me! Everyone else was busy getting ready for the competition.”

“My coach made me join you, to be honest. But it ended up being a good night. The desserts were really good.”

Before Seung-gil could think about how cold his statement came across, Phichit exclaims, “I’m so glad that you enjoyed your time with me! But you didn’t have to come with me if you didn’t want to. I wouldn’t have been offended.”

Seung-gil blinks, stunned. Usually, when talking to some people like Emil Nekola or the Crispino twins they would always force him to go out or made him feel bad about wanting to stay in. But, knowing Phichit’s outgoing personality and how liberal he is with sharing his life on social media, he’s surprised at how respectful he’s been with Seung-gil’s space.

“Thank you,” Seung-gil says. “I really appreciate the concern.”

“Of course!”

They finish off the last of the desserts and start heading back to the hotel.

“That was so much fun!” Phichit exclaims. “But I need to get back to my hotel and rest up for tomorrow. And you probably do, too.”

“Yeah,” Seung-gil replies. “Thank you for the food. And for, uh, being respectful of my space.”

“Of course! Yuuri—my Japanese friend that I mentioned earlier—is also very introverted and has anxiety so I understand. Hey, do you wanna exchange contact info?”

“Sure. I have LINE and Kakao Talk.”

“Me too! I’ll add you on both so we can talk even if we’re far away from each other.”

After they exchange numbers, Seung-gil heads back to his hotel room, hands in his pockets and tries hard to not think about the funny feeling inside his stomach when he thinks of Phichit.

* * *

When the assignments for the Grand Prix series comes out, Seung-gil’s disappointed that he’s not assigned to any competitions with Phichit. But, now that he’s in the senior division, he’s really not that interested in making friends with his competitors. It’s too distracting and he needs to focus on getting that gold medal.

He’s kinda dreading the Rostelecom Cup, though, mostly because he has to be in the same room against people that perpetually annoy him.

As he waits for the elevator, he notices Japan’s Yuuri Katsuki walking up and standing next to him. Although he’s heard the news that Viktor Nikiforov is coaching him and how he’s making a comeback from his loss in last year’s Grand Prix, Seung-gil actually thinks of him more as the friend that recommended the Japanese bakery to Phichit.

No words are spoken between the two. It’s nice. Seung-gil always appreciates people who keep to themselves. (Although, Phichit may be an exception.)

Speaking of which...

“You’re Yuuri Katsuki, right?” Seung-gil asks.  _ Of course _ he knows Yuuri, but he really has no other way to start the conversation.

“Yes?”

“Oh cool. I hung out with with your friend Phichit a few years ago. We got desserts at that one bakery you recommended.”

“Really?” Yuuri says, looking surprised probably at the fact that Seung-gil, the intimidating and anti-social skater is talking to him plus the fact that Phichit hung out with someone like  _ him. _ “I’m glad you both went there. It’s a good pastry shop.”

“Yeah.”

Yuuri and Seung-gil then stay silent for the rest of the time. When the elevator opens, he inwardly groans as he hears a cacophony of loud voices from Emil, Sara, and Mickey echoing out the elevator.

This is going to be a long day.

* * *

_ Skate for Pyeongchang. _

Seung-gil’s walks out from his free skate, hands balled up into fists and tears falling down his cheeks. He can’t stop the the chorus of voices in head repeating,  _ failure, you’re such a failure, you fucked up, you really had to fall that many times didn’t you? _ He keeps spiraling and falling and can’t stop. He hates falling. He wants to stop.

He can feel his coach’s comforting hand on his back (which isn’t really working but that’s the least of his cares) but everything around him is muffled. If someone were to talk to him, he wouldn’t notice, by the way his head hangs low towards the floor. Suddenly, he gets a notification from his phone which he checks immediately.

**Phichit Chulanont:**   
Hey! Are you okay? I saw u at the kiss and cry and I just wanted to reach out

Seung-gil grips his phone tighter as he was going to break it. 

**Seung-gil Lee:**   
I don’t want to talk about it. Please don’t bring it up.

He knows it’s harsh. He knows it’s cold. But he can’t bear the pity from other skaters, especially from Phichit.

**Phichit Chulanont:**   
Ok. I’m sorry about what happened. Take ur time, but if u need to talk im always with my phone!

More tears fall from Seung-gil eyes. They keep falling and falling and falling.

He just wants everything to stop falling.

* * *

**Seung-gil Lee:**

I’m sorry about the other day. You reached out to me and I was very rude to you.

**Phichit Chulanont:**   
It’s okay!! You were rightfully frustrated. I know I can be in a bad mood when I don’t do as well as I expect

**Seung-gil Lee:**   
But I was such an asshole to you. That’s no excuse

**Phichit Chulanont:**   
I appreciate it, Seung-gil <3

**Seung-gil Lee:**   
I can make it up to you? Seoul is only 2 hours ahead of Bangkok. I can video call and introduce you to Mongshil if you want.

**Phichit Chulanont:**   
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

**Phichit Chulanont:**   
Yes!!!! I’m eating lunch with my sister right now but I’ll definitely video call you!! :D I’ll introduce you to my hamsters!

**Seung-gil Lee:**   
:)

* * *

Seung-gil places his laptop on his coffee table and motions Mongshil to sit on his lap. She happily obliges, panting happily as she curls on top of him.

As if on cue, he gets a video call from Phichit Chulanont which he accepts immediately. Immediately, he is graced with a live video of Phichit with three hamsters: two sitting on his shoulders and one on his head. 

It’s the cutest thing he’s ever seen.

“Hello, Seung-gil!” Phichit exclaims. “And hello Mongshil! It’s so nice to meet you!” Mongshil lifts her head and tilts it at the new voice that she’s hearing. Seung-gil laughs, scratching her head. “She’s just as cute as she is in the pictures on your Insta!”

“Right?” Seung-gil replies. “She loves meeting new people.”

“Of course my babies aren’t paying attention to you,” Phichit says, picking up the brown one and cupping it in is hand, holding it close to the camera so Seung-gil can see the little hamster munching on a carrot. “I spoil them so much.”

It’s the second cutest thing he’s ever seen.

“This is Praew,” Phichit says. “The one on my head is Pui and the one on the other side of my shoulder is Noy Na.”

“I love them,” Seung-gil replies. He notices Mongshil staring at Phichit and the hamsters with interest. “Looks like Mongshil is also interested in them, too.”

Phichit looks at Praew and starts talking to the hamster in Thai. Seung-gil, obviously, can’t understand but he does hear his dog’s name in somewhere in the mix.

“I was telling my hamsters about Mongshil,” Phichit says. “Sometimes I think they respond better to Thai since they were raised in that language.”

“I understand. I talk to Mongshil in Korean only.”

“Anyways, how are you, Seung-gil? It’s been awhile since we talked!”

“Yeah,” Seung-gil replies, idly scratching Mongshil’s head. “I’m doing good. My coach wants me to relax for a few months before preparing for the next season. Especially with what happened last season.”

“Good idea! That’s what I’m doing too. I’ve been spending a lot of time with family.”

“Me too. My apartment is not too far from my family house so I’ve been hanging out with my sister a lot.”

“I have a sister too!”

Seung-gil finds that the conversation flows easily. They talk about a lot of things: their sisters, figure skating, life, food… even Yuuri Katsuki and Viktor Nikiforov came up in conversation, especially considering their strange situation for next year. They talk for so long, in fact, that sun is starting to set, Mongshil is full on napping, and Phichit’s hamsters have already been taken back to their cages for dinner.

“I just don’t get it,” Seung-gil says. “How is Viktor going to coach Yuuri if Viktor’s gonna be skating himself and having his own coach? That’s so weird.”

“That’s what I’ve been asking,” Phichit replies. “But they’re such a cute couple. It’ll be cool to see the both of them compete against each other. They’re truly a power couple.”

“So are they really engaged?”

“Yeah! Although apparently they’re not gonna get married until Yuuri wins gold.”

“Huh. That’s an interesting motivator. I guess the competition will be good for both of them.”

There’s a moment of silence, both basking in their home countries’ sunlight before Phichit poses another question.

“So is there someone special in  _ your _ life?”

Seung-gil is taken aback by the question, mostly because it’s quite a personal question to ask. But he and Phichit have been talking for hours so it makes sense for him to ask.

“No,” Seung-gil says sheepishly.

“It’s okay!” Phichit replies. “Me either.”

“Really? You’re so charming and social. I’m surprised there aren’t people throwing themselves at you.”

“I mean, as figure skaters I’m sure there are fans who wants to get it with us.”

Seung-gil chuckles, cringing at the last time he had to deal with fangirls. “I’d rather not think about it.”

Phichit laughs and Seung-gil can’t help but smile in response. He loves when Phichit laughs, the way his face lights up in pure warmth and happiness. Seung-gil thinks that Phichit legitimately embodies pure sunlight.

“Hmm,” Phichit continues. “What about any crushes?”

Crushes.

Seung-gil has never allowed himself to really think about crushes. It’s not that he’s trying not to think about them; he’s just so focused on figure skating that he’s never considered having a romantic life. Plus, who would be able to keep up with a figure skater’s busy schedule? And, after the whole ordeal with Cao Bin, he’s wary about relationships with other figure skaters.

“Not really,” Seung-gil replies. “Too busy being a figure skater.”

But, sitting here, talking to Phichit for hours and with Mongshil curled up on his lap, Seung-gil has started to reconsider some aspects of his life. For example, he just decided that he loves Phichit’s company and the way his bright and bubbly personality has given him comfort the same way that figure skating has given him. Where ice skating gives comfort on the ice, Phichit somehow has found a way to give him comfort off ice. 

“That makes sense,” Phichit says. “I think crushes can be complicated but it can be good in the long run especially since our lives are so

Since Phichit is sitting next to the window, the sunset is hitting his dark brown skin and basking him in a soft, golden light. His hair sticks up in all directions and the sun hits his eyes where he can see brown eyes practically glow.

Seung-gil smiles. Phichit might be the most beautiful person he’s ever seen.

Wait

Oh shit.

* * *

Seung-gil is in his bedroom, lounging on his bed. Mongshil is curled up next to him and both are just staring out the window watching the people and the city of Seoul. A cool, spring breeze washes over them.

Suddenly, he hears his LINE app go off. He turns on his phone to find that Phichit has messaged him and, unexpectedly, he smiles at the screen.

**Phichit Chulanont:**   
Seung-gil!!! Im in Seoul rn :D

Seung-gil sits upright in surprise, startling Mongshil a bit.

_ “Mianhae,” _ he whispers, scratching her head.  _ Sorry. _

**Seung-gil:**   
What?!

**Phichit:**   
Yeah! I got invited last minute to this skating event with friends. I wanted to let u know asap but my phone ran out of data and i couldn’t text u until i had wifi :(

**Phichit Chulanont:**   
I know it’s kinda sudden but I actually have the entire day free if you wanna hang out! If not, thats ok :)

Seung-gil doesn’t know why his heart is racing.

**Seung-gil Lee:** **  
** It’s ok! I would love to hang out with you :) Where are u right now? 

**Phichit Chulanont:**   
I’m somewhere around downtown Seoul. Let me send you where I am right now

_ Phichit Chulanont dropped a pin location. _

**Seung-gil Lee:**   
Oh! That’s actually near me. I can walk to you and I can show you around 

**Phichit Chulanont:**   
Yay!!! I’ll see you :)

**Seung-gil Lee:**   
I’ll bring Mongshil with me, too

**Phichit Chulanont:**   
OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Before Seung-gil leaves his apartment, he receives a call from his sister.

“Hey,” Soo-jin says. “I visited the house today and Eomma made gimbap and wanted me to send some to you. Are you busy today?”

“My figure skating friend is coming to visit from Bangkok,” Seung-gil replies, latching the leash onto Mongshil. “You have the keys to my apartment, right?”

“Yeah, but if you have a friend visiting, I don’t wanna intrude.”

“It’s ok! I can introduce him to homecooked Korean food.”

“Alright. I’ll see you later.”

Seung-gil meets Phichit at a random McDonald’s on his phone.

“Hey,” he says. Phichit looks up from his phone and the smile that graces his face could light up an entire room.

“Seung-gil!” Phichit exclaims, jumping up to hug Seung-gil. He looks good: he’s wearing sunglasses, a mouth mask, a jean jacket, and black skinny jeans that hug his figure really well—

Seung-gil shakes his head. Focus.

“Hi, Phichit,” Seung-gil replies, hugging him back. He tries not to focus on how his cheeks suddenly feel warm.

“It’s so good to see you again. It’s been months! And ohmigosh, is this Mongshil?”

Seung-gil looks down at Mongshil, who is curiously sniffing Phichit’s legs.

“Yes, she is.”

“She is so cute! I love her already.” Phichit leans down and starts petting Mongshil. “ _ Annyeounghaseyo, _ Mongshil! She’s truly  _ mongshil!” _

Seeing Phichit interact with Mongshil, greeting him in Korean and laughing at her licking his face, Seung-gil is filled with warmth and joy. Of course, he knows that Mongshil would get along with Phichit because both are very excitable, but seeing them together in the flesh makes Seung-gil’s stomach feel funny things.

He hears Phichit talk to Mongshil in Thai and Seung-gil falls even more.

“So, what’s the plan, Seung-gil?” Phichit then asks, standing up so that he’s face to face with him.

Seung-gil doesn’t say anything, rather, he stares at Phichit’s face in a daze, nothing his dark brown eyes and his beautiful dark skin.

He has it so bad.

“Seung-gil?”

He shakes his head, bringing himself back to reality.

“Sorry,” Seung-gil replies. “My sister is actually dropping off some gimbap that my mom made. Do you wanna have some before we explore the city?”

“Yes! I will take as much homemade food as I can!”

“You can walk Mongshil if you want also.”

“Really?!” His face and the tone in his voice is so cute, Seung-gil thinks.

“Yeah, of course!”

He hands his leash to Phichit and Seung-gil starts direct him to his apartment. As Phichit talks about what he’s doing in Seoul, Seung-gil looks down at their hands and imagines what it would be like to reach out and lace his fingers with his. He bets Phichit’s skin would feel soft.

Seung-gil shakes his head. Now’s not the time to think about that.

When they reach his apartment, Soo-jin is already inside.

_ “Hey,” _ Seung-gil greets in Korean.

_ “Hi!”  _ Soo-jin replies. 

“Phichit, this is my older sister, Soo-jin Lee. Soo-jin, Phichit Chulanont.”

“Hi,” Soo-jin greets, shaking Phichit’s hand. “Sorry, my English is just okay. I remember watching you during livestreams during Seung-gil’s competitions.”

“Nice to meet you, too!” Phichit exclaims. “It’s okay. I get confused with English sometimes too.”

“Soo-jin was actually the one that got me into figure skating,” Seung-gil says, removing the leash from Mongshil. “Do you want to sit on the couch with Mongshil and I can get the gimbap for us?

“Yeah! C’mon, Mongshil, let’s cuddle.”

Seung-gil watches Phichit and Mongshil fondly before heading to the kitchen.

He tries to ignore the pointed looks from Soo-jin.

_ “You like him,” _ she says in Korean.

_ “I don’t know what you’re talking about,”  _ Seung-gil replies. 

_ “You never really let anyone walk Mongshil. Even you got really mad with me interacting with him the first few weeks you got him.” _

_ “That’s because you kept feeding him desserts.” _

_ “Well? Do you like him?” _ Seung-gil doesn’t say anything.  _ “Oh my god. You do like him. You’re so red!” _

_ “I mean, it doesn’t matter, nuna. We’re both busy with skating and he can be with someone so much better than me.” _

_ “Oh, come on, Seung-gil. Don’t sell yourself short. There are so many South Korean skaters out there that he probably knows. Why would he go out of his way to hang out with you?” _

Seung-gil stays silent.

_ “I like him so much,” _ he mutters.

Soo-jin pulls him in a tight hug.

_ “Listen,” _ she says. _ “You may be the most intimidating person I know, but you’re also my baby brother and I know you can be the most sweetest person once you open up. And it looks like Phichit is getting a glimpse into that.” _

_ “Thanks, nuna.” _

_ “I’m gonna go and leave you two alone. Go get your man, Seung-gil.”  _

Seung-gil smiles, walks Soo-jin out the door, and joins Phichit in the living room. He freezes at the sight in front of him.

There, laying on  _ his _ couch in  _ his  _ apartment is Phichit on his phone with Mongshil lying down next to him. Suddenly, Seung-gil is hit with a wave of fondness and affection at this image.

He wants this. He wants to join Phichit and Mongshil on that couch. He wants to wake up every morning to see Phichit in his place, his presence as warm as the morning sun. He wants—

“Hey!” Phichit sits up.

“Here’s the gimbap,” Seung-gil says, opening the tupperware. “Made from scratch by my mother.”

“I’m so excited! I’ve had gimbap before but not homemade!”

When Phichit takes a bite of the gimbap, the sound he makes shakes Seung-gil to the core. It sounds almost… sexual and it’s too much for him to handle.

“This is so good!” Phichit exclaims. “I can eat so much of this. Please tell your mom that this is the best I’ve ever had!”

“Y-yeah, sure.” Seung-gil takes a bite of gimbap and decides to change the subject. “So, um, were you able to explore Seoul?”

“Yeah! Me and my group already did all the tourist-y things so now we have free time. I think the rest went shopping or drinking, I dunno.”

“Oh. You didn’t go with them?”

“I wanted to hang out with you!”

Seung-gil smiles, his heart soaring. “Well, if you’re still hungry, I can take you to my favorite restaurants.”

“Really?! I would love too! I had a small lunch so I can

“How about barbecue? And then we can get shaved ice later.”

“Yes! That sounds sooo good right now.”

* * *

“Ohmigosh, Seung-gil, the food was so delicious!”

Phichit and Seung-gil head back into his apartment, with Mongshil happily greeting them at the door.

“Let’s go to my room,” Seung-gil says, leading him through the hallway and towards the one bedroom in the apartment.

“Oh wow, this is cozy,” Phichit replies. “Can I lay on your bed?”

“Uh, yeah.”

He makes his way to the edge of the bed, lies down, and pats the empty space next to him. Seung-gil swallows nervously, both at the sight of Phichit on his bed and the fact that he’s inviting him to lay down next to him.

“I would have never thought to go to these places,” Phichit says, scrolling through his camera roll at all the food pictures he took. “This is so much better than all the touristy places that me and my group went to!”

Seung-gil tilts his head, pretending to be interested at the photos when in fact he just wants to get that much closer to him. At the same time, Mongshil walks in, jumps on the bed and situates himself between Phichit and Seung-gil.

“Aww,” Phichit says. “He’s hanging out with us!”

“Cute,” Seung-gil replies, scratching her head. He then pulls out his laptop. “Do you wanna watch some K-dramas? I’ve been catching up on some lately.”

“Sure!”

He finds one that both him and Phichit know, and they spend the entire night binge watching. He finds it hard to pay attention to the show due to the warm body next to him. Instead, he pays attention to how Phichit feels next to him; they might not be touching but he can certainly feel his presence. He listens to Phichit’s commentary about the show, basking in his beautiful voice and letting it consume him for a bit.

He doesn’t remember closing his eyes at all.

* * *

“Seung-gil… hey… Seung-gil.”

Seung-gil is shaken awake by a hand. It takes a while for him to finally wake up, although he’s taken aback at the figure right next to him.

Phichit, sitting upright, looks down at Seung-gil with a tired look on his face.

Wait.

He… slept with Phichit?

“Looks like we fell asleep while watching that K-drama,” Phichit says. “It’s like seven in the morning right now.”

“Oh,” Seung-gil says. 

He and Phichit fell asleep next to each other. With Mongshil. Holy shit.  _ Holy shit _ . He looks up at Phichit, his hair sticking up in all directions because of bedhead, his eyes half closed due to having just woken up.

He looks beautiful even in the morning. That’s so not fair!

“Um,” Seung-gil stutters. “Do you need to head back soon?”

“It’s okay. I texted my friends that I stayed over your house and they’ll be willing to pick me up at the McDonald’s down the street.”

“I’ll go with you—”

“No, it’s okay! I can make my way there, it’s not too far.”

“But—”

“No,” Phichit places his finger on Seung-gils lips to shut him up. (He really wants to kiss that finger.) “You’ve done so much for me and I accidentally stayed over your place!”

“It’s not that big of a deal.”

“Nope! Just escort me to your door and I’ll be on my way.”

Seung-gil nods, walking Phichit out of his apartment. He basks in this domestic bliss and wishes this could happen every single day of the year.

“Thank you, Seung-gil,” Phichit says, throwing his arms around him. “This was a great experience.”

_ This is it, _ his mind says.  _ Tell him you like him. Tell him right now. _

“Yeah, of course,” he replies instead. “If you’re ever in the city, let me know.”

Phichit smiles.

_ Tell him! _

Instead, he leaves, leaving Seung-gil and Mongshil alone in his apartment with a missed opportunity.

_ “Oh, Mongshil,” _ Seung-gil groans in Korean, dropping down to the floor and burying his face in her hair.  _ “What am I going to do now? _

* * *

Seung-gil is drunk.

He’s heard about the Olympic parties but he wasn’t expecting to actually be invited to one. But for some reason, JJ encouraged him to go. Considering that Seung-gil barely won bronze for South Korea by a small margin, he decides that it’s worth it to celebrate. He’s not a partier, but he’ll accept any junction with alcohol to help him interact and celebrate with people.

He’s three shots of vodka and a few cups of jungle juice deep and he feels.... Lighter. Goofier.

“Seung-gil!”

He turns his head to find JJ and Isabella together. They’re the only people that he knows here.

“Seung-gil is so red!” JJ bellows. “You’re so drunk.”

“Please, JJ,” Isabella says. “You  _ know _ Asian glow is a thing. I’m just as red as he is.”

“Leave me alone,” Seung-gil slurs.

“C’mon Seung-gil,” JJ says with a laugh. “Let’s take another shot.” 

Seung-gil holds out his red solo cup and JJ pours tequila. After taking a shot with him, Isabella, and a few Canadian snowboarders, he finds himself on a couch, the room suddenly moving around a bit.

Without thinking, he pulls out his phone and starts texting the one person he wishes was there with him.

**Seung-gil Lee:**   
안녕하세요

**Phichit Chulanont:**   
???

**Seung-gil Lee:**   
Oh. srory about that

**Phichit Chulanont:**   
Omg Seung-gil… are u ok lol

**Seung-gil Lee:**   
Im at a party, idk anyone excpt JJ and hes so annoying

**Phichit Chulanont:**   
Wow… seung-gil at a party?! Are you drunk?!

**Seung-gil Lee:**   
I think a lot

**Seung-gil Lee:** **  
** English is so hard when ur drink :/

**Phichit Chulanont:**   
Oh my god!!! Seung-gil lee is so drunk right now!!!! I wish I was there to see that omg

**Seung-gil Lee:**   
I wish u were here too….. I miss you

**Phichit Chulanont:**   
I miss you too!! But u should go enjoy the party!!! Stop being on ur phone! Lol

**Seung-gil Lee:**   
엉엉 ㅡㅅㅡ

“Hi.” Seung-gil looks up and finds a tall, dark-skinned Asian man hovering over him. He looks cute. “Can I sit here?”

“Sure.”

He sits a little too close to Seung-gil; their bodies are flush against each other. Usually, Seung-gil would hate when strangers invade his personal space, but he’s drunk and this boy is super cute and any semblance of giving a fuck is flying out the door.

“I’m Josh,” the man says in perfect English, holding out his hand. “Josh Reyes.”

“Seung-gil Lee.” He shakes the man’s hand and notes how his hands are soft. Like Phichit’s.

“Nice to meet you. What sport do you play?”

“Figure skating. For South Korea.”

“Oh, nice! Competing on your home turf, huh? Well, our sports are kinda similar, I guess. I’m Filipino but I do speed skating for America.”

“Nice. Speed skaters are so cool. You’re so fast and muscly.”

“Figure skaters are so flexible.”

Josh then turns to him, his hand reaching out and trailing down Seung-gil’s cheek. He closes his eyes in response, breathing in at the physical contact. There’s something about this speed skater that he’s drawn to. Is it because his dark skin and beautiful smile reminds him of Phichit?

Josh leans in, presses a kiss behind Seung-gil’s ear, and whispers, “Wanna get out of here?”

Seung-gil nods, letting Josh take his hand and lead him to the backyard. He tries to ignore JJ and Isabella’s smirks as he passes by them.

Once they’re outside in the cool air, Josh pushes him against the wall and starts kissing Seung-gil passionately. He kisses back just as hard, his hands wandering up and down Josh’s body, trying to get close to him as possible.

When he kisses Josh, he thinks of Phichit, soft skin and kisses as passionate as his love for skating and social media. When Josh peppers kisses from his mouth down to his neck, he imagines this Filipino-American speed skater to be Phichit, the boy who managed to weasel his way into his life and capture his heart.

_ “ _ Phichit…  _ Mapsosa…” _

Wait.

This is so wrong. This is  _ really  _ wrong.

_ “Hajima,” _ Seung-gil mutters, placing a hand on Josh’s chest to pull him away.  _ “Hajima… ha… _ wait. Stop.”

Josh looks at him quizzically.

“I’m sorry,” Seung-gil says, throwing an arm over his face. “I can’t.”

“That’s okay. You must be really into this Phichit guy, huh?”

Seung-gil doesn’t respond.

“Well,” Josh says, taking out a marker and writing his name and number on Seung-gil’s hand. “You’re pretty damn cute, so if this Phichit guy doesn’t work out, you know who to contact.”

Josh winks and heads back inside. At the same time, JJ and Isabella walk out, arm-in-arm.

“What the hell, Seung-gil!” JJ exclaims. “You were getting it on with that cute guy. What happened?”

“I don’t wanna talk about it,” Seung-gil mutters. “Just give me another shot.”

“Why don’t we take you back to your room?” Isabella asks. “You’ve had enough to drink tonight. We’re going back too.”

“That’s fine.”

That’s the last thing that Seung-gil remembers from that night.

* * *

Seung-gil wakes up in his hotel room, incredibly hungover. He squints at the sunlight peeking through the curtains and checks the time. 10:30am.

He looks over and finds JJ and Isabella sleeping on the other bed. On the nightstand next to him, there’s a glass of water and painkillers, probably from the sleeping couple. As he sobers himself up, Seung-gil recalls the memories of last night.

The party… JJ… alcohol... the speed skater from America that he kissed… Phichit.

Seung-gil holds up his hand, showing a smudged number and the name “Josh Reyes” on his palm.

Holy fuck. 

Seung-gil groans into his pillow. Sure, he has a hopeless crush Phichit, but he didn’t expect to project his crush onto some American skater that only vaguely looks like him.

Out of his own volition, he pulls out his phone and starts going through his messages. Upon seeing his drunk texts, Seung-gil immediately turns red and almost throws his phone across the room, Yuri Plisetsky style.

**Seung-gil Lee:**   
Sorry for last night. That’s really embarrassing

**Phichit Chulanont:**   
Omg it’s ok!! You were drunk, i totally understand ;)

**Seung-gil Lee:**   
Still

**Phichit Chulanont:**   
Dont worry about it! How was the party?

**Seung-gil Lee:**   
It was ok… I got really drunk ㅠㅠ

**Phichit Chulanont:**   
I saw JJ’s snaps… it looked wild!!

“Good morning, Seung-gil!” JJ greets. Seung-gil turns his head to find him and Isabella finally awake. “How are you feeling

“I’m good,” he replies. “Thank you for the water and painkillers.”

“Of course.” JJ takes a sip of his own water and adds, “So, Phichit, huh?”

Seung-gil shoots his head up, his heart racing. Of all people, JJ and Isabella knows?!

“What?!” he exclaims.

“You don’t remember?” Isabella says. “When we got to the room you saw a picture of Phichit on Instagram and started talking about how cute he was and how you have the biggest crush on him.”

_ “Jen-jang,” _ Seung-gil hisses holding his head between his hands. 

“I’m surprised,” JJ says. “I wouldn’t expect someone like you to like someone as outgoing as Phichit. Although he is such a sweetheart. The entire world is in love with him.”

Seung-gil shakes his head, trying to will all the anxiety away.

“Are you gonna do something about it?” Isabella asks.

“Yeah,” JJ says. “I’d say go for it. It looks like you guys are hanging out a lot, anyways.”

“No,” Seung-gil replies. “There’s probably someone out there

“Aw,” JJ sits next to Seung-gil, giving him a comforting hand to his back. “I don’t think so. I noticed you and Phichit have been hanging out a lot.”

“Just… don’t tell him or anyone. I wasn’t really comfortable with anyone knowing in the first place.”

“Your secret is safe with us. And I know you’re not asking for advice, but I’d say go for it. He seems like he would be a great boyfriend. Either way, I wish you the best.”

Seung-gil nods in appreciation. He checks his phone and finds another notification from Phichit and he breathes in.

God. This is a mess.

* * *

Months pass by and suddenly the next Grand Prix series is on the horizon. Seung-gil and his coach has worked hard on his short program and free skates, deciding that his theme would be “mornings,” and the softness and comfort that comes with it. (It may or may not be inspired by a certain person but Seung-gil would rather not think about that.) He thinks about all the mistakes he made last year and works hard to stop being so over-analytical during his performances.

Of course, everyone dreads the return of Viktor Nikiforov since people have high hopes for him as well as Yuri Plisetsky who broke Viktor’s world record last year.

(“Is there even any chance of us winning anything other than a bronze?!” Mickey Crispino groans during Skate Canada.

“Not even bronze,” Emil Nekola jokes. “I mean, there’s also Yuuri Katsuki.”)

Seung-gil, to his surprise, works his way up to the finals in Nayoga, Japan. There, he’s joined by Viktor Nikiforov, Yuuri Katsuki, Yuri Plisetsky, JJ Leroy and Phichit Chulanont.

It was a close race, with Yuuri Katsuki coming in first, Yuuri Plisetsky coming in second, and Viktor Nikiforov coming in third.

(Who would have thought?)

Seung-gil placed in fifth place, above Phichit and below JJ. As much as it hurts that he was so close to obtaining his first gold in the Grand Prix, he’s grateful for having come this far.

Now, Seung-gil is standing in the hotel lobby, waiting to head to the banquet.

“Seung-gil!” someone exclaims. He turns around to find Phichit running towards him. He’s wearing a crisp suit that hugs him in all the right places. Seung-gil can’t help but ogle. “Hey!”

“Hi, Phichit,” he replies. “Are you ready to go?”

“Yeah! I’m so excited!”

The banquet is the same as it ever was: fancy, formal, and high brow. People all around are adorned in suits and dresses, sipping in champagne and engaging in small talk.

“Oh, I found the other skaters,” Phichit says, grabbing Seung-gil’s hand. “Let’s go!”

They make their way to the table full of the senior division skaters. Viktor and Yuuri, of course, are acting like a couple (with the Russian Yuri eternally rolling his eyes at them) while Mila, Mickey, Emil, and Sara from the ladies division are people watching the banquet, a common practice between the four of them. Seung-gil meets JJ and Isabella’s eyes and they cast pointed and knowing looks towards him, to which he shakes his head.

“Hey, everyone!” Phichit exclaims. “Glad to see you all here!”

There’s a chorus of greetings towards the two before they get seated.

“Do you want me to get you champagne?” Seung-gil asks.

“Yes!” Phichit says. “I’ll save your seat.”

It takes a while for Seung-gil to obtain two flutes of champagne. He forgets that people love to talk about his skating, asking him banal stuff like how he practiced for his skating and choreography, how he always manages to land a quad loop, and comparing his performance to last years. He gets through those conversations quickly, hoping that he’ll be with Phichit again.

Finally, when he does manage to get champagne, he stops in his tracks as he hears an interesting conversation between the senior division skaters.

“So you and Seung-gil have been hanging out more.” Mila Babicheva.

“Yeah!” Phichit says. “He’s a great friend! We text each other all the time.”

“Huh,” Mila replies. “That’s interesting considering that he’s not really… nice with the people he competes with. He can become very cold towards sometimes.”

“I always try to reach out to him!” Sara Crispino exclaims. “We exchanged LINE and everything but he’s always blowing me off. You’ve managed to weasel your way into his good side. Tell me your secrets, Phichit!”

“What can I say?” Phichit asks. “I guess I’m just a very attractive person.”

That you are, Seung-gil thinks fondly.

“Ooh, maybe that’s why he’s with you all the time,” Mila adds. “Maybe he likes you.”

“What?” 

Seung-gil’s heart drops at how exasperated Phichit sounds. He notices how JJ and Isabella are uncharacteristically quiet during the whole conversation. He appreciates their discretion.

“I mean… there has to be something about you that he’s attracted to. And I mean, objectively speaking, you  _ are _ pretty attractive.”

“You’re such a sweetheart, too,” Sara adds. “You can probably get any guy or girl you want!”

Before he can hear Phichit’s reply, he hears a voice from someone next to him.

“You like him, don’t you?”

Seung-gil jumps at the sudden voice right next to him. Standing right next to him is gold medal winner Yuuri Katsuki sipping on a flute of champagne.

“I’m sorry?” Seung-gil asks, still completely thrown off.

“Phichit. You like Phichit.”

“That’s none of your business.”

Yuuri shrugs. “I mean, he’s one of my closest friends and I care about him so it kinda is my business.”

Seung-gil narrows his eyes at the nonchalant Yuuri, busy taking another sip of champagne.

“Shouldn’t you be busy getting drunk and dancing naked on a pole?”

There’s a flash of Yuuri cringing before going back a deadpan expression. He might have taken that too comment a little too far.

“Don’t need to,” Yuuri then says. “I already have Viktor.” Seung-gil stares at him in shock. When he doesn’t say anything, Yuuri adds, “Unless you’re trying to ask Phichit out that way? Because as much as it’s fun to have Viktor fly across the world, it took an entire year for us to get together so it might take a while until you two finally kiss.”

Where did this side of Yuuri come from? Seung-gil thinks. He’s heard of all the rumors of Yuuri being a shy and anxious skater but this is completely different. 

But Seung-gil hears kiss and thinks about kissing Phichit and suddenly his cheeks feel warm. He looks on at the people surrounding Phichit, laughing and smiling and holding a lively conversation. Suddenly, he’s questioning his entire friendship with Phichit. Why is he, the full embodiment of sunshine and warmth and love, would be friends with someone like Seung-gil? It doesn’t make sense. What does Phichit want?

“It doesn’t matter,” Seung-gil responds.

He tries not to ignore Yuuri giving him a terse glance in his peripheral vision.

“I know you’re not the most friendliest person,” Yuuri said. “But I talk to Phichit and he’s told me so much about you over Skype, enough for me to know that you seem like a great and caring person so I would say go for it?”

Seung-gil turns to him. “He talks about me?”

“Yeah. He likes you a lot.”

His cheeks burn and he physically curls in on himself. 

“He doesn’t like me in that way,” Seung-gil says in a small voice. “He’s out of my league.”

“I thought Viktor was out of my league,” Yuuri replies. “And now we’re getting married. There’s no harm in asking him out.”

“He’s such a good friend, I don’t want to risk anything.”

“If he’s such a good friend then you guys can work it out if the feeling is unrequited.”

The problem with Yuuri is that he’s right and there’s really no other reason, aside from Seung-gil’s insecurities, that he shouldn’t ask Phichit out. He does gain a little respect for Yuuri for giving him advice when he’s never really held a conversation with him before.

Seung-gil takes one more look at Phichit’s smiling face and he realizes how bad he has it. 

Just like when he’s first learning how to skate, slipping, falling face first. But instead of falling into ice he’s falling into complete warmth. He wants Phichit, his smiles and his laughter. He wants him back in his room, spending a lazy day with Mongshil. He wants him flaunt their relationship on social media, to show the world how much they’re in love.

Because Seung-gil is in love and he has to know what Phichit thinks of him.

He grabs a flute of champagne from the waiter and downs the entire glass.

“Thank you for your perspective, Yuuri,” Seung-gil says quickly, handing the empty flute to a surprised Yuuri. With a respectful bow, he adds, “Congratulations on your gold medal and your engagement.”

Seung-gil heads outside to clear his mind but he doesn’t notice a pair of brown eyes following his every move.

* * *

The cold has always helped Seung-gil think.

Every time Seung-gil needs to clear his mind, he either takes a walk with Mongshil during the winter or goes to the ice rink and skates for a bit. There’s something about the cold bite of the ice and snow that helps Seung-gil work out any internal problems he has.

Right now, his current problem is his feelings for a certain Southeast Asian skater, with shining eyes and a dazzling smile.

“Hey,” he hears a voice. Speak of the devil, he turns around and sees Phichit standing in front of him, hands in his pockets with a smile on his face.

“Hi,” Seung-gil replies.

“Are you okay?” Phichit says. “I saw you talking with Yuuri and then you left so quickly; I was so concerned.”

“It’s fine. I just needed air.” Lie.

“Oh okay! I can stay with you, if you want. Unless you want to be alone, that is.”

Seung-gil blinks. He loves him so much.

“I like you,” he blurts out. He covers his mouth with his hands and turns around, his back facing Phicht so he wouldn’t see his reaction.

Fuck. Fuckfuckfuck. That’s not how this should’ve gone, Seung-gil thinks. He should have eased his way into the conversation, maybe back off when he got some sort of sign that Phichit doesn’t like him back. He was going to ask about crushes, about his romantic life, about—

He feels to hands grip his shoulders. Phichit turns Seung-gil around so that they’re face to face again.

Seung-gil examines his face. He doesn’t see the look of disgust or exasperation that he was expecting; instead, he finds Phichit looking back at him with softness and curiosity.

“What was that?” Phichit asks with a soft voice.

“I don’t wanna say it again,” Seung-gil says, blushing furiously, covering his hands with his face.

“C’monnnn,” Phichit takes his wrists and bring them down to reveal his face. “You’re blushing so hard. It’s so cute.”

“You’re cute,” Seung-gil mutters. When Phichit tilts his head in question, he adds, “I like you and I’ve liked you for a while now. In a romantic way. But it’s okay if you don’t because you’re a great person and I would love to continue being your friend.”

Phichit grabs Seung-gil’s hands, lacing their fingers together.

“I like you too,” he says. “I was worried you didn’t like me back because I could never gauge how you feel so I didn’t want to say anything.”

Seung-gil smiles, suddenly feeling happy, the most happiest he’s ever felt in a while. His heart is pounding and he’s trying hard not to jump around on the spot.

Phichit smiles in response, the dazzling smile that he fell in love with so long ago.

Seung-gil did that. He made him smile like that. 

“Can I kiss you?” Phichit asks.

Seung-gil nods, meeting him halfway in a soft kiss.

It’s so much better than he imagined. Phichit’s lips are soft and so is the skin on his neck. Where Seung-gil goes, Phichit follows, and they kiss and they kiss and they kiss. Despite the alcohol breath from the champagne, this, by far, might be one of the best kisses that Seung-gil has experienced.

When they separate to breathe, Seung-gil wraps his arm around Phichit in a hug, burying his face in his neck.

“Are we boyfriends?” Seung-gil asks.

“If you want to be.”

“I’d like that a lot.”

Phichit lets go of the hug, smiling at him again before leaning in for one more sweet kiss.

“Let’s go back inside,” he says, taking Seung-gil’s hand and lacing his fingers with his. “We have a long night ahead of us.”

Seung-gil nods in response.

They walk inside, hand-in-hand, and the look on the senior division skaters’ faces are priceless.

* * *

Seung-gil wakes up to the most beautiful sight he’s ever laid his eyes on.

Right next to him lays Phichit, still sleeping, his bare back facing Seung-gil, black hair sticking up in all directions. The sunlight from the curtains make his dark brown skin glow like an angel and Seung-gil is breathless.

He reaches his hand out and traces Phichit’s skin, his fingers trailing from the base of his spine all the way up to his shoulders before going back down his arm, arms snaking around his waist.

He feels Phichit stir awake, making small noises at all the physical contact. Now that Seung-gil knows he’s awake, he peppers kisses from Phichit’s shoulder all the way up to his neck, nibbling the soft skin there.

“Good morning, Seung-gil,” Phichit says, his voice breathy.

“Morning.”

Phichit turns his body so he’s facing Seung-gil. They kiss for a bit before they continue cuddling, their faces close and their hands wandering.

“You have morning breath,” Seung-gil mock complains.

“You still kissed me,” Phichit replies, his hands threading through his long hair. Usually, Seung-gil hates it when people touch his hair, but Phichit is an exception.

Phichit is an exception with a lot of things.

“When’s your flight back to Bangkok?” Seung-gil asks.

“In the evening,” Phichit replies. “What about you?”

“Same here.”

“Yay! We can probably hang out more, then.”

Seung-gil buries his face in Phichit’s neck, an action that he finds himself doing a lot.

“We can stay in and get room service,” he says before kissing the skin on Phichit neck.

“If you keep going like that, we probably won’t be able to get breakfast.”

“I’m okay with that,” Seung-gil says, flashing a smirk.

Phichit smirks back before meeting him in another searing kiss.

Maybe falling isn’t so bad after all, Seung-gil thinks, kissing Phichit back just as hard.

**Author's Note:**

> god seung-gil that's so gay
> 
> (hmu @ phichitchulanonts)


End file.
